The Flammario Organization Blog

Both the light and shadow are in a harmonic. My perception of the circumstances of my life reflect that harmony, that harmonic verse, which is who I am. That is a condition of dualism itself, to have light and dark.

I think we begin with the fact that there are aspects of my personality that I’m very unwilling to face. That’s why some people go into psychotherapy, just to face those things. Or they get into meditation, or they go into isolation tanks and all kinds of things. We are intrigued by these aspects of ourselves that we’re so deathly afraid of. I’ve used the phrase ‘deathly afraid’ of them because in some cases, our fear of experiencing this thing that we may not even be able to consciously define, is so great that we will push ourselves into a brick wall rather than experience it.

So what happens is as you begin the spiritual practice of working with a Wrathful Deity and in a few minutes we’ll begin to look at what we mean by wrathful you begin the practice, you begin to bring these hidden fears to the surface of awareness, so they’re not hidden anymore. They begin to slowly become exposed. We begin to see these aspects of ourselves that we’ve developed major complex strategies of action to not feel, to not experience, and as these come into our awareness, the strategies that we used to not face them become without value.

In psychological terms, the idea of these strategies could be the words ‘repression,’ ‘denial,’ ‘numbing out.’ These are all things that the human psyche will do to avoid having these feelings. But we want to make this much more tangible than that because yes, it’s repression, but it’s a strategy, it’s a whole strategy of repression. In order to repress this feeling that I’m afraid to feel, I buy expensive clothes, or I keep my house exceedingly tidy, or I am a workaholic.

Yes, and so what happens is, let’s say I’m a workaholic. So I’m at my job, and when I’m at job, I am so busy. I am doing so much, and my bosses love it, because they’re paying me minimum wage, and I’m getting jobs done for four different people. But then, in my meditation, in my work, I one day come across this with the help of the Wrathful Deity; because that’s what’s happening, that Wrathful Deity is helping me to face this. The Wrathful Deity is truly an ally.

A cry in the dark is all you can hear When you are talking yourself into something That doesn’t calculate in your plane of existence How has this confusion engulfed your every thought Turning your ever flowing string of lost dreams Into a solid swamp of clay Everything has appeared inverted Since you gave into your confusion Your words crawl out as lies Your eyes spill tears of deception Your cold shoulder has faltered Under its need for a distant new embrace False it may be I did not confuse you I did not invert you I did not divert your thoughts Into the blender of your now twisted perception You have lost control, cant you see it You want what you cannot have You can’t have what you want for someone else I can’t stop you All I can do is build myself up as a brick wall And sustain the verbal explosions You heave at my cornerstone You may return soon but will I still be there A strong wall, or a pile of crushed stone If I am a pile of rubble what then will you do Will you build me back up, or will you fall Fall into useless self pity If you build me back up will you return to the blender Will you attempt to destroy me Or will I turn and allow the self destruction Of all that I see in you wreak its havoc Until you are nothing more than A hollow heart and an empty soul, torn Can I close my eyes and see you fall in the same moment Can I walk away as I soften your landing Can I expel everything about you from me And live as though we never shared a heart Never shared a time Never shared a life never

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